Jake44
6 posts
Dec 04, 2007
5:30 AM
|
It's the same as it was four years ago. Parents fighting, suicidal thoughts, school becoming hell, and my trust in people is dwindiling down to nothing. It's near christmas, a time of love, but my home couldn't be more barren. Even when voices aren't raging around the room, I can feel the emptyness, the lack of love. I've never really known what love is, but I believe I have fallen in it. Problem is, I'm scared to put too much hope in her cuz she might back out and I crash down.....again. The fears and pains of my past are still here, and I have no hope of ever having a safe home. But for the one I love, I have a small fire of hope that is soon to grow into a fire of trust. I just don't want to screw that up.
|
cod_f_reek
17 posts
Dec 04, 2007
7:05 AM
|
Never fear, trust in the Lord to see your way through trials. The Lord works in mysterious ways.
----------
"I'm a genius, hee hee hee."
--343 Guilty Spark--
|
Cephus
1 post
Dec 05, 2007
8:12 PM
|
Jake - Jesus will never give you more than you can bear - trust in your friends, your brothers and sisters in Christ. God has set them apart as your family. If you leave this world, who will spread Jesus's message? He commanded us to preach the Gospel to the whole world. We can't do it without you. Let your life be a testament to what God's love can do.
-Cephus
|
Jake44
7 posts
Dec 06, 2007
4:58 AM
|
I need hope and the ability to trust myself.
Plain and simple. But it's not that simple.
|
Thom
Administrator
8 posts
Dec 07, 2007
9:44 AM
|
Jake,
The teenage years are hard on everyone, and it seems your life is no exception.
We (you, your parents, and myself) have talked in the past about your suicidal thoughts. I thought those had settled down a bit. How are things going for you now? Day to day, are you still having those thoughts?
Remember that there is only one Person who will never let you down, never fail you, never abandon you. And you know who He is.
2nd Timothy 2 says, " 11 This is a trustworthy saying:
If we die with him,
we will also live with him.
12 If we endure hardship,
we will reign with him.
If we deny him,
he will deny us.
13 If we are unfaithful,
he remains faithful,
for he cannot deny who he is."
In other words, God will never leave you because his nature is to be faithful to his children. He's like the parent who will never let you down.
- Thom
|
dwelleth
2 posts
Dec 09, 2007
7:58 PM
|
Jake44,
I hear you and am praying for you. Keep telling people about your difficulty at your home. We are here to pray with you. It is so hard when we know we aren’t able to trust anyone, really. I understand. God loves us so much. I think sometimes he doesn’t mind taking us through crap so we realize we must trust Him in this (and every) thing. He will answer you, deliver you, rescue you, save you, restore you and make you into the great man His heart knows of the heart he gave you. You can trust Him.
Don’t give up crying out to God and others. He definitely desires to bless you, even in your current situation. We are here to bless you and be blessed by you. Keep talking.
----------
Roman 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
|
Jake44
8 posts
Dec 11, 2007
5:38 AM
|
Day to day suicidal thoughts, no. acutally, It's died down over the past week or so. School is somewhat better, cuz people stopped talking when I told them to. It's getting better, but is it a position in which I can live in for the rest of my life? Mabye/possibly.
----------
mmm tsss mmm tsss mmm tsss mmm tsss.....
|
Jake44
10 posts
Dec 12, 2007
5:01 AM
|
I FIGURED IT OUT! I kinda need a sancuary.
which is why I've been going to FCA. But they havn't had a meeting in a month, practically. But I really need a sanctuary. somewhere where the world has no impact. Where I can simply go and unwind; where i can stay forever. The world belives that everything has to happen NOW, not in ten minutes, and I can never get a break from it. It has to have no memories of bad things in my life that have happened. So my home is out the window, along with other places. The bottom line is, I need a sancutary. That's a good song by the way; Sanctuary.
----------
mmm tsss mmm tsss mmm tsss mmm tsss.....
|
cod_f_reek
19 posts
Dec 15, 2007
7:33 AM
|
I think that everybody should have some type of a sanctuary. Mine is taking a walk in the woods. I'm not saying that a sanctuary will solve all the worlds problems, but it's good to go unwind somewhere quiet. When I'm angry and don't want to hurt anybody else (not physically of course) I just need to get away somewhere secluded to pray, and settle down.
----------
"I'm a genius, hee hee hee."
--343 Guilty Spark--
|
thatonegirl
5 posts
Dec 15, 2007
12:59 PM
|
Yeah totally. Everybody needs that. For me..I like to sit in my room with my music and write. I write anything and everything. Its how I let go. Its who I am.
|
hp_magz
8 posts
Dec 15, 2007
4:52 PM
|
I think I know the person you're talking about...(the girl) and I can guarentee you she won't back out on you. As for the rest of it come find me sometime or call me and we can talk about... I'm really sorry for it all. Sometimes if I'm really stressed and feel distanced from God I'll find a REALLY quiet spot with my Bible and just read til I feel satisfied. I hope I helped!
-Me
----------
Eeenie, Meenie, Minie, Mo
If he hollars
PULL HARDER!!
-Bernie Byma (my grandpa)
|
emianne2009
1 post
Dec 16, 2007
9:41 AM
|
I know I've told you this again and again, but just thought I'd tell you again that I'm always here to listen. I would much rather you wake me up at 2 in the morning than to struggle with thoughts like that..we'll talk them out like we always do....
Always there,
Em
|
cod_f_reek
20 posts
Dec 21, 2007
10:41 AM
|
The bible says in Ephesians 4:26. (26)"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, (27)and do not give the devil a foothold."
Tha verse has helped me a few times, "DO NOT GIVE THE DEVIL A FOOT HOLD"
----------
"I'm a genius, hee hee hee."
--343 Guilty Spark--
|
Thom
Administrator
9 posts
Dec 23, 2007
6:36 AM
|
I really like wha you guys are doing here. You're really being the family of God, and it shows. Keep up the great posts!
- Thom
|
Rachel322
2 posts
Dec 26, 2007
3:13 PM
|
Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
This verse helps me remember that God is always there for me, and that everything has a reason. I think of God's plan for me as a book...there may be good chapters and bad chapters, but the end is always a good one: eternal life with Him. I hope you find a sanctuary. =)
|
Jake44
12 posts
Dec 30, 2007
6:39 PM
|
Woah, people actually respond to this. More than I expected. Mabye I should stop being so quiet about my life. Not that I'm shy, but I'm scared. I mask myself. people still like me, but I let fear of people attacking me get to me so I mask myself. Some people I don't, but the majority I do.
----------
Everything happens for a reason. I choose to find out why and I don't forget it.
|
emianne2009
5 posts
Jan 02, 2008
6:42 PM
|
It shouldn't suprise you that so many people responded jake. Think about it! It's an amazing thought, but these are only a few of the people that care about you; Just a few in the huge number of your heavenly brothers and sisters that want you to be safe,happy, and content with who you are.
|
hp_magz
9 posts
Jan 05, 2008
9:28 AM
|
Jake, I don't know if I contributed to how you feel right now, but I'm really sorry how things worked out. I didn't mean for it to happen... it just kinda did. Don't take this the wrong way but I'm kinda glad we can't have comunication because I felt things were moving kinda fast for my taste. (sorry) Just remember I'm your friend, I always will, but before we date I have to 16. lol. just email me or post on my wall if you want to respond. =D
----------
You mean more to me than you know... <3
|
Nettie_92
5 posts
Jan 21, 2008
1:11 AM
|
Oh Jake,
I'm so sorry for it all. I would've posted something sooner on this but I didn't know what to say. You've called me many times and we've talked..and I hope that us talking together helps a little bit. God will never let you down, he's always there. When times get tough for me..God is kind of like a crutch to lean on. He'll carry you through the stormy parts of life, [Sidenote:Praise You In This Storm is a very good song] like in the "Footprints" poem. No matter what..He's always there for you. Don't forget, I'm always here if you need to talk, ok? We all love you very much.
Always-Nettie♥
----------
&& even tho she acts like nothing's wrong..maybe, just maybe she really good at lying.
|
Jake44
14 posts
Jan 31, 2008
4:56 PM
|
Thom
Thanks for everything, and thanks for all the support you've given us. I guess this is our farewell for now. My only hope is that god guides us both. Remember, there is a season for everything. May god be with you.
----------
Everything happens for a reason. I choose to find out why and I don't forget it.
|
